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A New One

OK. So the majority of my really "deep" thinking usually happens in the car. I'm in my element in my car. I turn the music to whatever mood I'm in and that's where things to done...hashed out...thought up. It's a beautiful place to be for me! (Until of course you get the ridiculous drivers...ahhhhh...)

So a few things came to me tonight while in the car. The first one was a hard decision. A decision I'm still not sure I'm ok with but one I know is right. It's something I've been thinking about for months. Even avoided at times. And I came to the conclusion while in there car (and listening to Welcome Home by Brian Littrell) that I HAD to do this. The hardest part is that I know I may hurt this person's feelings. It's nothing mean. And my hope and prayer is that God guides my words. Sometimes saying the truth is the hardest thing. But I feel like it's the right thing. Its time to stop hiding and avoiding. It's time to be honest with this friend. It's time to show her my heart. It sounds so hard just talking about it like this...

Something else came to me while in the car. I've always been a writer. Rather I'm writing in my journal (typing on this blog) or writing a story, I'm always writing! And since about the 8th grade, I've been writing books. Now, I can say with confidence that probably 99% of the people I know have no idea that I do that! It's not because I'm ashamed. Some of them have been private and so I've chosen not to share. If you know me well, you know that I don't limit myself...if I have a dream, I have one! I try not to tell myself it will never happen. I try the things I love. Isn't that what life is about? One of my dreams has always been to have something published...whether it's a small article or a book. I've always wanted something published. I'm not really close to that at the moment but still. Anyway...I've recently been working on a new book. And I want to share it with some people. So I've decided that I'm going to start a new blog (probably this weekend) and it will be the book. And some of you will be invited to read it! I say some..not because I don't want to include everyone but because I want to be careful. I'm not sure if anything will ever come of this book but just in case, I want to be careful As I write, I'll include chapters of the book. And I'm going to want your input. If I spell something wrong, if my grammar is messed up, I want to hear it! While I write, I'm going to pray that whatever God has for me and this book, that He'll slowly begin to show me. Like I said, it may never be published. I'm ok with that. But I want to share it. I'll keep you updated.

The last thing that came to me was I NEED A VACATION. I feel like I'm becoming burned out. Working all day and then coming home and working some more is starting to wear on me. Dont' get me wrong, I love doing them both. But it's wearing me out. I'd like to spend a weekend in a hotel...laying around in my pj's, NOT DOING WORK, and watching tv. If I feel like talking on the phone, I will. If not, I won't. I don't want to get burned out to the point where I don't enjoy what I'm doing. I need a vacation. Doubt that will happen any time soon. I have to work to get the money to go on vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a viscious cycle...

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