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Different

Why do weekends go by so quickly???????? I can't believe this one is already over. Maybe I need a vacation. No, I KNOW I need a vacation!!!

It was a good weekend. I can't complain. My best friend had another beautiful baby boy. He's adorable! And they're all well. They come home tomorrow and I'll get to spoil him even more. Doesn't get much better than that!

And today, my two favorite girls got baptized at church. These girls are a part of my heart. They have been since day one. And I'm so proud of them. It was so wonderful to see them take such a big step today. It just made the morning and the service even that more special.
I'm exhausted now. It's been a busy weekend. I spent Friday trying to get everything done...knowing that I'd spend the majority of the weekend at the hospital. Running back and forth across town. Taking care of Harley (their dog). Making sure I got to church this morning for the girls' baptism. I didn't think I was tired til I sat down about 45 minutes ago...finally. And then it hit.

And when I get tired, I have a tendency to do more thinking. Plus, I'm just reflecting on all of the things the Lord blessed me (and others) with this weekend. I know I'm a very blessed girl. I have so many things and people to be thankful for!!!

I have the best friend. I know...I'm supposed to say that right? But I mean it. I know we get on each other's nerves and I know we have moments were we have to just take a break but when push comes to shove, she loves me. When I'm at my worst, she's at her best...and loves me anyway. And vice versa. Today while it really should have been about her...her day...her beautiful baby boy, she didn't hesitate to ask me about my day and what was going on with me.
And she shares those boys with me. She's allowed me to be a part of every moment of their lives. She always makes me feel like her life...her husband's life...her children's lives...wouldn't be the same without me. That's a good feeling!!!

Shanda is such a wonderful mother. Wonderful wife. I love watching her with her children. I know that God has truly blessed me with a friend I'll have for life. I'm so so so thankful for that.
And not only do I get to share in the lives of two beautiful boys, but I also have Melissa and Emily...who I mentioned earlier. These girls have been in my life for...8 years. And I've watched them grow. They're mom has always been so good to me and always allowed me to be a big part of their lives. And as I watched them today...watched them take such a big step in their walk with Christ...a step that I've been praying for these last 8 years...I was so proud. These girls will never be the same because of today. And I have to thank their youth leader Tug. Because he allows God to work through him, those girls made that step today.

And this weekend has changed a lot of people. Shanda and Dustin will be different parents...different people because they now have a new little life with them. Keagen (their first born) will always be different because he now has a new little brother (that looks just like him). Melissa and Emily will be different...their view on life and their committment to God will be different. And because of their committments, the lives of their parents will be different. And I'll be forever different because all of these people are a part of my life and my heart.

But I'll be honest, now that we're at the end of the day and I'm exhausted, I had to tell God I'm a little impatient. I know he already know that. I know he knows what goes on in my head from time to time.

I've never been the type of girl that has said, "Oh, at 25, I'll be married. And by 30, I'll have 2 kids." That's just not me. Those are kind of like limits and I try to avoide those. I've always been the type of girl that says, "Whatever happens will happen. And it will happen when God wants it to." I'm content with that...most of the time.

But like today, I'm sitting here going, "Did I really think I'd be 28 and not married?" I don't know. I know God has great plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and they're beyond anything I could have dreamed for myself. But some days, I need a little more comforting than that, ya know?
I know I need to be patient. I know God's timing is better than mine. I just sometimes wonder. I've never been the kind of girl that just had to give birth to a child. I want children!!! But I've always said I'd be content whether I gave birth to them or if I had to adopt. And I still feel that way. I just need a husband for all of that!

I know...patience, Deidra. Be patient. But when you're tired, patience isn't something you have! I guess that's my cue to go to bed and just hush, huh? Alright. I'll go to bed! And I imagine tomorrow I'll feel a little different. That's my goal anyway! Wish me luck! (on getting some sleep and the husband! hee, hee)

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