OK...so I know it's been awhile and you're probably hoping for something other than this post but sorry! Tonight you get this one! (I really do have other posts ready though so be prepared for the next few days!)
It's been kind of a frustrating day. The day itself was fine! No work! Got lots of work done business wise. Watched some much missed tv shows this afternoon. Even got to watch Dr. Phil! So I can't complain about the day itself. But it's frustrating in other ways...
The last month or so, I've been thinking about whether I need to cut back some more hours at work to keep up with all of my card orders. And that's a hard decision for several reasons. One, I LOVE my job and I love the people I work with. And when you've got a boss like mine, you can't imagine working for anyone else! Two, if I take another day off of work, I'm going down to part time basically. And that means missing a few extra days of vacation. My checks obviously won't be as good. And I'll be depending more on the card business than I am at the moment. That's a little scary. It's been steady so far this year but you just never know.
I know it's an issue of stepping out in faith...but it's also an issue of really hearing God...hearing what He wants me to do. So I'm kind of at that point where I'm just a little...not confused...but maybe a little overwhelmed.
To top it all off, my poor computer. This computer has been SO good to me! I've had it...almost 5 years I think. And I haven't had any major problems with it. The little problems I've had, I've been able to fix (which says a lot about what a great computer this is). It's still a great computer. I've just overloaded it. I've got tons of programs and files on here...all of which I need. I've cleared as many things off as I can and it's still pretty overloaded. Everyday it gets a little bit slower. So I'm in need of a new computer. I've been wanting a laptop. Not just because that's the "thing" these days but because I can take it with me...keep orders organized and be able to print them for customers right then...be able to get some work done while on my breaks at work...lots of things. The biggest thing is being able to design cards for people as they sit right beside me! And now I've discovered a program (thanks, Becky) that's opened so many doors for me as far as designing and being able to design something specifically for people. And I've downloaded the free trial version of it and it's slowed down the computer even more so it's not something that's going to be able to stay. The program itself runs about $100 but I keep thinking, "Why put that money into a program when I can't really use it on my computer?" So I'm frustrated. I feel like all of this is so close but I can't quite reach it.
And I know it's a lesson...I know God is in control. But sometimes it doesn't make things much easier at the moment ya know? I know I just need to be patient and let God do His thing...He's good at it! And if this business is truly going to work, then God is going to see to that. I just need to trust in Him. But have you ever realized that when you want something so bad, that's it's hard to be patient and wait on His timing?
Mom and I talk about a new computer just about everyday. All three of us had the conversation today with all of us trying to brainstorm on how to make it happen. It's not money I just have laying around. And I put a lot of money into my business as it is. So the thought of $1000 is overwhelming at the moment. And I'm not looking into another loan. I've spent the last few years trying not to charge anything. If I can't afford it, I just don't get it...which usually works just fine! But it's a little annoying at the moment...
So keep me in your prayers. Keep my business in your prayers. I want to make this work. I want to be able to provide all the services I possibly can to customers. I love the work I'm doing and I'm having so much fun learning new things! I'm just at a point where I'm a little frustrated and not real sure what's next...if that makes sense.
P.S. I promise to write something a little happier next time! Live American Idol starts on Tues so I'm sure I'll be talking about that!
It's been kind of a frustrating day. The day itself was fine! No work! Got lots of work done business wise. Watched some much missed tv shows this afternoon. Even got to watch Dr. Phil! So I can't complain about the day itself. But it's frustrating in other ways...
The last month or so, I've been thinking about whether I need to cut back some more hours at work to keep up with all of my card orders. And that's a hard decision for several reasons. One, I LOVE my job and I love the people I work with. And when you've got a boss like mine, you can't imagine working for anyone else! Two, if I take another day off of work, I'm going down to part time basically. And that means missing a few extra days of vacation. My checks obviously won't be as good. And I'll be depending more on the card business than I am at the moment. That's a little scary. It's been steady so far this year but you just never know.
I know it's an issue of stepping out in faith...but it's also an issue of really hearing God...hearing what He wants me to do. So I'm kind of at that point where I'm just a little...not confused...but maybe a little overwhelmed.
To top it all off, my poor computer. This computer has been SO good to me! I've had it...almost 5 years I think. And I haven't had any major problems with it. The little problems I've had, I've been able to fix (which says a lot about what a great computer this is). It's still a great computer. I've just overloaded it. I've got tons of programs and files on here...all of which I need. I've cleared as many things off as I can and it's still pretty overloaded. Everyday it gets a little bit slower. So I'm in need of a new computer. I've been wanting a laptop. Not just because that's the "thing" these days but because I can take it with me...keep orders organized and be able to print them for customers right then...be able to get some work done while on my breaks at work...lots of things. The biggest thing is being able to design cards for people as they sit right beside me! And now I've discovered a program (thanks, Becky) that's opened so many doors for me as far as designing and being able to design something specifically for people. And I've downloaded the free trial version of it and it's slowed down the computer even more so it's not something that's going to be able to stay. The program itself runs about $100 but I keep thinking, "Why put that money into a program when I can't really use it on my computer?" So I'm frustrated. I feel like all of this is so close but I can't quite reach it.
And I know it's a lesson...I know God is in control. But sometimes it doesn't make things much easier at the moment ya know? I know I just need to be patient and let God do His thing...He's good at it! And if this business is truly going to work, then God is going to see to that. I just need to trust in Him. But have you ever realized that when you want something so bad, that's it's hard to be patient and wait on His timing?
Mom and I talk about a new computer just about everyday. All three of us had the conversation today with all of us trying to brainstorm on how to make it happen. It's not money I just have laying around. And I put a lot of money into my business as it is. So the thought of $1000 is overwhelming at the moment. And I'm not looking into another loan. I've spent the last few years trying not to charge anything. If I can't afford it, I just don't get it...which usually works just fine! But it's a little annoying at the moment...
So keep me in your prayers. Keep my business in your prayers. I want to make this work. I want to be able to provide all the services I possibly can to customers. I love the work I'm doing and I'm having so much fun learning new things! I'm just at a point where I'm a little frustrated and not real sure what's next...if that makes sense.
P.S. I promise to write something a little happier next time! Live American Idol starts on Tues so I'm sure I'll be talking about that!
Comments
i wanted soooo badly to start up a scrapbook product company - i wanted to stock & distribut products myself, but couldn't afford to do it, so, for the time being, i joined a company called memory works...seems harmless. i figured i could do my thing, make some $ and eventually save up enough to start doing what i REALLY wanted to do. BUT, looking back, I now know for certain, that, while I WANTED to believe I was hearing God on going forward with this, I was ACTUALLY hearing the voice of my own desires. So, while it cost me very little to get started up, it was still $ waisted, because I never did a SINGLE party. See, what I started on my own, God had no obligation to finish for me. And I managed to single-handedly run the thing into the ground. Had I TRULY waited on God, just to see WHAT He wanted me to do and WHEN (that's huge!), I would have saved myself a lot of trouble! So here's the thing - I've found that if it's God's thing, he will make SURE i know it's from him (whether or not I choose to follow him on it is up to me, but I at least know its from him). I find that if I'm not sure whether I've heard God or me, I wait...if it keeps coming back, it's usually God. Also, if I don't have peace about something, it's either not God's plan or not his timing.
So, it seems like it might just not be God's timing on this (not that i at all pretend to know what he has planned for you!) ...I KNOW it's REALLY hard to be patient... TRUST ME I KNOW!! But just hang in there! I'll be praying for you!