I know it's been forever since I've blogged, but this seemed like the perfect weekend to finally do it! HAPPY EASTER!!! And what a beautiful day it was!
2009 has been...well, interesting...for lack of a better word. But our service at church this weekend put so many things in perspective for me. The message was titled "Last Word." Pastor Randy talked about how we have the tendency to allow the words of otehrs to define who we are-whether those words are good or bad. And we allow people to have the last word over us. We even allow our past to define us. He mentioned the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And how untrue that really is. A lot of times those words stick with us forever. And they HURT. This home home for me BIG TIME.
I'm not usually the girl who allows others to define who I am but I think lately I have been. Over the last few months, I've allowed the words of a few people eat at me. And some days, those words tore me apart. And I wanted to blame people for those words. I mean, THEY said them. Not me. And everytime it felt like things were getting better, there they were again saying those things. And everything I seemed to work so hard on seemed to fall apart...the things I seemed to care so much about seemed to just be gone. But it wasn't really all their fault. yes, they said those things but I was allowing them to define me. And then that was defining other parts of my life. But I don't want to be defined by people. I know I'm not perfect. I know I make mistakes. I know I'm not some amazing person. I'm simply who God made me and I continue to grow in that - when I decide to quit listening to others!
I spent the last few weeks deciding I shouldn't care about certain things or certain people because those were the things that were hurting the most. And it seemed like the easy way out. I know. 99% of you are thinking "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." But be honet with yourself for a moment. We all have those moments...even if they're short ones...where we try to avoid the things that hurt the most. And that was my thought process - if I didn't care so much, it wouldn't hurt so much. HA HA!
Then the end of last week came along. Through the process of a conversation, some things that were said and me just doing some thinking, some of that buried hurt came back to the surface and there was nothing I could do to push it back down. It was there. And it was staying.
But as I listened to Pastor Randy this weekend (I went twice cause the message was so good) and the specific message God had for me, I realized some things. And one of those things was simply that caring a lot about people and things is what makes me ME. The way I connect to things and the way I feel so deeply about things and people is what God made me to be. People may criticize that - people may say it's dumb, people may say I'm holding on too tight, people may say it makes me unhappy, people may even say that's what my problem is (yes, I've honestly heard that lately in so many words and not so many), but THAT'S NOT TRUE!! And I will no longer allow those people to have the last word!!! I will no longer feel guilty for the way I feel or how deeply I feel. There is a reason for that. I'm tired of hearing the small, side comments about who I am as a friend - which ultimately attacks who I am as a person. I'm not a perfect person. I won't be a perfect friend. But I LOVE the friends God has put in my life - and He has the final word.
Things will hurt. I know that. A few things hurt now. And there's something in my life that I really miss right now. If I told you what it was, some of you would laugh - some of you would say I'm crazy. But that doesn't matter to me. I miss it cause I care. Deeply. Nothing will change that. So even though it hurts, it's who I am. AND GOD LOVES WHO I AM!!!
Pastor RAndy talked about how we allow the words of others and even ourselves to define who we are. But that's not the way it should be. God gets the final word. And He loves us. Every flaw - He loves! AMAZING!!! It's hard to put the whole service into words but he wanted to show that the world should not define who we are or get the last word. There are plenty of people who are allowing God to have the last word in their lives...and he wanted to show that to us.
I'm including a video of the "cardboard testimonies." This is not the video from our church service but hopefully it will still touches you. PLEASE watch the whole thing. Then take a few moments to write down things others have said about you - that you've let define you. Even things you've said about yourself or your past experiences - write them down! And then take some time to talk those things over with God and give Him the last word!
If you'd like to share your "cardboard testimony," please do! I know I'd love to hear about God's last word in your life! And who knows, it may be the last word someone else needs to hear!
2009 has been...well, interesting...for lack of a better word. But our service at church this weekend put so many things in perspective for me. The message was titled "Last Word." Pastor Randy talked about how we have the tendency to allow the words of otehrs to define who we are-whether those words are good or bad. And we allow people to have the last word over us. We even allow our past to define us. He mentioned the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And how untrue that really is. A lot of times those words stick with us forever. And they HURT. This home home for me BIG TIME.
I'm not usually the girl who allows others to define who I am but I think lately I have been. Over the last few months, I've allowed the words of a few people eat at me. And some days, those words tore me apart. And I wanted to blame people for those words. I mean, THEY said them. Not me. And everytime it felt like things were getting better, there they were again saying those things. And everything I seemed to work so hard on seemed to fall apart...the things I seemed to care so much about seemed to just be gone. But it wasn't really all their fault. yes, they said those things but I was allowing them to define me. And then that was defining other parts of my life. But I don't want to be defined by people. I know I'm not perfect. I know I make mistakes. I know I'm not some amazing person. I'm simply who God made me and I continue to grow in that - when I decide to quit listening to others!
I spent the last few weeks deciding I shouldn't care about certain things or certain people because those were the things that were hurting the most. And it seemed like the easy way out. I know. 99% of you are thinking "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." But be honet with yourself for a moment. We all have those moments...even if they're short ones...where we try to avoid the things that hurt the most. And that was my thought process - if I didn't care so much, it wouldn't hurt so much. HA HA!
Then the end of last week came along. Through the process of a conversation, some things that were said and me just doing some thinking, some of that buried hurt came back to the surface and there was nothing I could do to push it back down. It was there. And it was staying.
But as I listened to Pastor Randy this weekend (I went twice cause the message was so good) and the specific message God had for me, I realized some things. And one of those things was simply that caring a lot about people and things is what makes me ME. The way I connect to things and the way I feel so deeply about things and people is what God made me to be. People may criticize that - people may say it's dumb, people may say I'm holding on too tight, people may say it makes me unhappy, people may even say that's what my problem is (yes, I've honestly heard that lately in so many words and not so many), but THAT'S NOT TRUE!! And I will no longer allow those people to have the last word!!! I will no longer feel guilty for the way I feel or how deeply I feel. There is a reason for that. I'm tired of hearing the small, side comments about who I am as a friend - which ultimately attacks who I am as a person. I'm not a perfect person. I won't be a perfect friend. But I LOVE the friends God has put in my life - and He has the final word.
Things will hurt. I know that. A few things hurt now. And there's something in my life that I really miss right now. If I told you what it was, some of you would laugh - some of you would say I'm crazy. But that doesn't matter to me. I miss it cause I care. Deeply. Nothing will change that. So even though it hurts, it's who I am. AND GOD LOVES WHO I AM!!!
Pastor RAndy talked about how we allow the words of others and even ourselves to define who we are. But that's not the way it should be. God gets the final word. And He loves us. Every flaw - He loves! AMAZING!!! It's hard to put the whole service into words but he wanted to show that the world should not define who we are or get the last word. There are plenty of people who are allowing God to have the last word in their lives...and he wanted to show that to us.
I'm including a video of the "cardboard testimonies." This is not the video from our church service but hopefully it will still touches you. PLEASE watch the whole thing. Then take a few moments to write down things others have said about you - that you've let define you. Even things you've said about yourself or your past experiences - write them down! And then take some time to talk those things over with God and give Him the last word!
If you'd like to share your "cardboard testimony," please do! I know I'd love to hear about God's last word in your life! And who knows, it may be the last word someone else needs to hear!
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