I know, I know, I know...it's been awhile. I'm sorry!!! I was hoping life would have slowed down by now but it hasn't. And that's ok. Really. I miss the quiet time I used to enjoy so much but it's really ok. It will slow down when it's time. In the mean time, I fit in quiet time when I can!
I'm not sure if this will be a long or short one. I had an idea in my head of what I wanted to write but I've since changed my mind.
I was hoping 2009 would start out much better than 2008 ended...and well, it hasn't. It's been a tough year already...one where my mind is on overdrive. I'm still temporarily helping my boss while our board makes some decisions about an office manager/assistant director. I don't mind...I love Christina and I love working beside her everyday! (Hopefully she feels the same way!) It's a little frustrating though not knowing what the outcome will be. But I'm trying to be content with it all. Things are getting better. We seem to finally be catching up on 2008 and all of that work (yes, I said 2008) and starting to settle into 2009 thanks to the help of a very dedicated co-worker!!!! I still feel somewhat behind. I was hoping that by now we'd be completely done with 2008 and moving on with everything. But we're getting there. I just have to be a little more patient.
On a happy note, Trinity (where I work) was named Employer of the Year by Apollo! Christina and I along with two of our co-workers (one a graduate of Apollo and the other a senior there) went to the big dinner they have. We had to get all dressed up and we were in the presence of like 200 other people. We all know how much I LOVE huge groups of people...NOT! But it was worth it. Christina deserved it. She's worked hard the last 4 1/2 years to make Trinity a wonderful place to work and for children to be on a daily basis!!!
Right now, I'm just struggling with God's will...and my own understanding. Without going into details (I know...you've heard that before), I'm trying really hard to hold onto the faith I've had for years. But this situation seems to be rocking the boat...BIG time. I know God is in control...at least most of the time. But there are moments when I just say, "Are you freakin' kidding me, God??????" Obviously He's not. That would be a cruel joke. And I know...everything happens for a reason. But I'm tired of watching people suffer. I'm tired of bad things happening to the same people. It's back to back to back...
And I know God's will is not my own. I know that He knows better than I do. I also know that everything happens for a reason...that includes this situation and everything surrounding it. It doesn't make it any easier. Actually, makes it a little harder. But as I was in church last night, we sang "Do It Lord" by Tommy Walker. And it occurred to me that I was praying that...but wasn't quite believing it. I'm praying that the Lord will give me a miracle...but I'm praying that He give me the miracle I want. Just because I don't see it as a miracle, doesn't mean it isn't. I know what I want...I know what I want the outcome of this to be. And I'm praying for that obviously. But I'm also praying that God just do it!!! He is in control...and He knows way better than I do. And even though this may hurt beyond anything I've ever felt, He is in control. I'm trying to hold on to that. Some moments are harder than others. But God keeps His promises. And He promised He has a plan...that will not harm us. I know that. And I'm believing in that. So go ahead and do it, Lord. Whatever it is, do it. And I pray that I'm able to see beyond my own understanding...
I'm not sure if this will be a long or short one. I had an idea in my head of what I wanted to write but I've since changed my mind.
I was hoping 2009 would start out much better than 2008 ended...and well, it hasn't. It's been a tough year already...one where my mind is on overdrive. I'm still temporarily helping my boss while our board makes some decisions about an office manager/assistant director. I don't mind...I love Christina and I love working beside her everyday! (Hopefully she feels the same way!) It's a little frustrating though not knowing what the outcome will be. But I'm trying to be content with it all. Things are getting better. We seem to finally be catching up on 2008 and all of that work (yes, I said 2008) and starting to settle into 2009 thanks to the help of a very dedicated co-worker!!!! I still feel somewhat behind. I was hoping that by now we'd be completely done with 2008 and moving on with everything. But we're getting there. I just have to be a little more patient.
On a happy note, Trinity (where I work) was named Employer of the Year by Apollo! Christina and I along with two of our co-workers (one a graduate of Apollo and the other a senior there) went to the big dinner they have. We had to get all dressed up and we were in the presence of like 200 other people. We all know how much I LOVE huge groups of people...NOT! But it was worth it. Christina deserved it. She's worked hard the last 4 1/2 years to make Trinity a wonderful place to work and for children to be on a daily basis!!!
Right now, I'm just struggling with God's will...and my own understanding. Without going into details (I know...you've heard that before), I'm trying really hard to hold onto the faith I've had for years. But this situation seems to be rocking the boat...BIG time. I know God is in control...at least most of the time. But there are moments when I just say, "Are you freakin' kidding me, God??????" Obviously He's not. That would be a cruel joke. And I know...everything happens for a reason. But I'm tired of watching people suffer. I'm tired of bad things happening to the same people. It's back to back to back...
And I know God's will is not my own. I know that He knows better than I do. I also know that everything happens for a reason...that includes this situation and everything surrounding it. It doesn't make it any easier. Actually, makes it a little harder. But as I was in church last night, we sang "Do It Lord" by Tommy Walker. And it occurred to me that I was praying that...but wasn't quite believing it. I'm praying that the Lord will give me a miracle...but I'm praying that He give me the miracle I want. Just because I don't see it as a miracle, doesn't mean it isn't. I know what I want...I know what I want the outcome of this to be. And I'm praying for that obviously. But I'm also praying that God just do it!!! He is in control...and He knows way better than I do. And even though this may hurt beyond anything I've ever felt, He is in control. I'm trying to hold on to that. Some moments are harder than others. But God keeps His promises. And He promised He has a plan...that will not harm us. I know that. And I'm believing in that. So go ahead and do it, Lord. Whatever it is, do it. And I pray that I'm able to see beyond my own understanding...
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