So it's been a day of serious thinking. My plan was to relax but as I hopped in the car when I left Sarah's house in Mansfield (we went to see the American Idol tour last night), I realized my brain had other ideas! I hate it when that happens! :-)
I think I've just been so busy lately that I haven't given myself much of a chance to sit down and think. I'm not sure I want to put my thoughts together lately. God has been doing some challenging things in me. And I've been wondering why me??? What does He see in me that He doesn't see in someone else? Why can't He put someone else in this position? What makes Him think I can handle this? Cause I don't know that I can.
And this weekend was probably the most challenging yet...for many reasons! OK. Not the most challenging but the 2nd most challenging. Have you ever had to walk away from something you REALLY didn't want to walk away from?? Like every bone in your body wants to stay right there. But you know this is what God wants for you...needs from you. It's hard to explain without telling the whole story and I'm just not. It doesn't need to be told. I just knew I had to walk away and that this week would be what I needed to see what He's really trying to show me.
It's been really easy to put things in God's hands lately...cause I know I can't handle them. So I have no problem saying "God, this is yours!" But He's been saying, "You can do this, Deidra." And of course I'm like, "NO I CAN'T!!!" You'd think I'd learn...arguing with God never really works but I try it anyway! (Maybe one day He'll listen to me...ha, ha, ha!) But he's been saying to me, "Yes, you can cause you are."
I just don't see how I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's been so challenging. It's been harder than I ever thought imaginable. And the hardest part is knowing that it's really not the hardest part. There's so much more to get through. So many more things God wants of me and what He wants out of this situation.
But despite the fact that it's challenging and REALLY HARD, He's given me the most amazing thing-something I never expected but I am so thankful!!! I can't imagine my life without it. It hasn't been easy and probably won't be for some time but He's truly blessed me. He's given me something worth way more than anything I could have asked Him for. What a blessing!!! Life wouldn't be the same without it!!! I AM SO THANKFUL!! He knew exactly what I needed!!!
I think I've just been so busy lately that I haven't given myself much of a chance to sit down and think. I'm not sure I want to put my thoughts together lately. God has been doing some challenging things in me. And I've been wondering why me??? What does He see in me that He doesn't see in someone else? Why can't He put someone else in this position? What makes Him think I can handle this? Cause I don't know that I can.
And this weekend was probably the most challenging yet...for many reasons! OK. Not the most challenging but the 2nd most challenging. Have you ever had to walk away from something you REALLY didn't want to walk away from?? Like every bone in your body wants to stay right there. But you know this is what God wants for you...needs from you. It's hard to explain without telling the whole story and I'm just not. It doesn't need to be told. I just knew I had to walk away and that this week would be what I needed to see what He's really trying to show me.
It's been really easy to put things in God's hands lately...cause I know I can't handle them. So I have no problem saying "God, this is yours!" But He's been saying, "You can do this, Deidra." And of course I'm like, "NO I CAN'T!!!" You'd think I'd learn...arguing with God never really works but I try it anyway! (Maybe one day He'll listen to me...ha, ha, ha!) But he's been saying to me, "Yes, you can cause you are."
I just don't see how I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's been so challenging. It's been harder than I ever thought imaginable. And the hardest part is knowing that it's really not the hardest part. There's so much more to get through. So many more things God wants of me and what He wants out of this situation.
But despite the fact that it's challenging and REALLY HARD, He's given me the most amazing thing-something I never expected but I am so thankful!!! I can't imagine my life without it. It hasn't been easy and probably won't be for some time but He's truly blessed me. He's given me something worth way more than anything I could have asked Him for. What a blessing!!! Life wouldn't be the same without it!!! I AM SO THANKFUL!! He knew exactly what I needed!!!
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