I said I wasn't going to blog tonight. I was just going to go to bed. But I can't. I'm a writer...writing helps. So I'm going to write. Hopefully not for long but you never know.
I worked today...which is unusual for me. I don't usually work Fridays. But I volunteered to work today because we were short handed. I knew it wasn't going to be a hard day. It was only 6 hours (even though that 6 hours started at 6:30am) and I was at the front desk. So I knew I'd get to play for awhile too! Apparently life had other plans...
I got a text from Shanda....late morning. She wanted to know if she could call...it was important. Of course I said yes. So she did...and my heart dropped. She was in tears. And my first thought was that something was going on with the boys or with Dustin...And I couldn't understand her at first so I was just willing myself to breathe.
It wasn't the boys. It wasn't Dustin. It was our friend Toni. Her son was killed early Friday morning. I had no reaction at first. Just an "oh no." What do you say? I asked Shanda what happened and I got a little information on what she knew at that moment. (Out of respect for the family and the investigation, I don't plan to go into too many details.) But basically, this young man had been murdered.
You know...I think it's safe to say that we've all lost someone in our lives. Whether it be old age with natural causes, cancer or even car accidents, we've experienced loss. But murder? This has got to be happening to someone else.
I talked to Shanda for a few minutes longer...making sure she was calming down. But nothing was the same. It was hard to concentrate. It was hard to smile as the kids passed by the desk. It was hard to do anything. So I did the only thing I knew to do and that was pray. And even that didn't come easy. I turned on the Lincoln Brewster songs I had on my comp and tried to concentrate on worshipping God. Not an easy thing to do in this situation as you can imagine.
One of the first things that came to mind was the death of Hudson. I think I've experienced enough death in my life. Because my parents are older, my grandparents were even older than that! So my grandparents are gone. I've lost several friends. Aunts. But Hudson was probably one of the hardest to deal with. And that was for many reason but the biggest was his age. He was just days from his 1st birthday when he passed away. I remember the phone call. I remember Nette's voice. I remember having to turn around and enjoy the day I had with the girls I was babysitting for. And I remember feeling like nothing quite made sense.
At the funeral, the pastor who spoke said something that has stayed with me. It's something I thought about when Jeff and Jeremy passed away back in Sept. "There are some things we'll never understand this side of Heaven." Isn't that the truth? No matter the circumstances, death changes lives.
But murder?? Wow. It's almost surreal at the moment. Death is something known of us quite comprehend...other than we know that at some point we will all die in the flesh. But murder???? What makes a person so angry that they murder? What is going through their mind??? Why take away someone from the people who love him/her??? Why??????????????????
Dan was just 23 years old. Still a kid really. Loved by so many. And he was just ripped from their lives. And why? From what it sounds, something that probably wasn't all that important to begin with. He never got the chance to say goodbye. His mother and father never got to tell them they loved him again. He never got to speak with his sisters one last time. And for the rest of some of his friends' lives, they will see what happened to him. None of that makes sense to me. None of it.
And all of that reminded me of something that was said just a few weeks ago about the death of Jeremy and Jeff. It's so final. I know...it may sound silly to you. We all know death (the physical part of death) is final. Duh. But that's not what was meant. And that's not how I feel. It's final. There's no last anything. One minute he was here...the next he was gone. With no warning, he was ripped from this world. Ripped from the people who loved him. Ripped from the life he could have lived. Final.
As I sat there this afternoon thinking about it all, tons of emotions hit. And I instantly came back to Shanda's boys and the girls Emily and Melissa. No parent thinks of having to bury their children. Parents are "supposed" to pass away before their children. I can't imagine having Keagen, Kale, Emily, and Melissa in my life one day and the next them being taken from me. An accident is one thing. Wouldn't make it any easier I'm sure. But murder? To take someone I love from my life...on purpose???
By this evening, I was feeling slightly guilty. I spoke with my mom and then Shanda about it. Dan was taken from this world. And life goes on. The life of his family has stopped. For the rest of their lives, Nov. 2 will be the day Dan was taken from them. Yes, eventually life will go on for them. But for right now, it's stopped. And the world outside goes on. Mom and I had already made plans for dinner and a movie tonight and we decided to do that anyway. In a way, it felt wrong to go out...laugh together...enjoy life...while the King's were at home mourning the loss of Dan. And I know that they don't expect everyone's lives to stop. I know that. But it doesn't change the feeling.
These are things that happen to other people. It feels so unreal to watch the news, hear them talk about the story and realize you knew that young man. You know that family. It feels so unlike anything I've ever felt before.
But it really does boil down to the fact that we really aren't going to understand SO many things this side of Heaven. So I have to believe that God will take this situation and turn it into good. And as I sit and think about that, I think about what I can do...what I can do for my friend Toni and her husband and her daughters. What I can do for my other friends as we get through this.
"Love Them Like Jesus"
The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart
You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you
Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus
The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away
You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you
Just love them like Jesus,
carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you
So love them like Jesus,
love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that
He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus
I worked today...which is unusual for me. I don't usually work Fridays. But I volunteered to work today because we were short handed. I knew it wasn't going to be a hard day. It was only 6 hours (even though that 6 hours started at 6:30am) and I was at the front desk. So I knew I'd get to play for awhile too! Apparently life had other plans...
I got a text from Shanda....late morning. She wanted to know if she could call...it was important. Of course I said yes. So she did...and my heart dropped. She was in tears. And my first thought was that something was going on with the boys or with Dustin...And I couldn't understand her at first so I was just willing myself to breathe.
It wasn't the boys. It wasn't Dustin. It was our friend Toni. Her son was killed early Friday morning. I had no reaction at first. Just an "oh no." What do you say? I asked Shanda what happened and I got a little information on what she knew at that moment. (Out of respect for the family and the investigation, I don't plan to go into too many details.) But basically, this young man had been murdered.
You know...I think it's safe to say that we've all lost someone in our lives. Whether it be old age with natural causes, cancer or even car accidents, we've experienced loss. But murder? This has got to be happening to someone else.
I talked to Shanda for a few minutes longer...making sure she was calming down. But nothing was the same. It was hard to concentrate. It was hard to smile as the kids passed by the desk. It was hard to do anything. So I did the only thing I knew to do and that was pray. And even that didn't come easy. I turned on the Lincoln Brewster songs I had on my comp and tried to concentrate on worshipping God. Not an easy thing to do in this situation as you can imagine.
One of the first things that came to mind was the death of Hudson. I think I've experienced enough death in my life. Because my parents are older, my grandparents were even older than that! So my grandparents are gone. I've lost several friends. Aunts. But Hudson was probably one of the hardest to deal with. And that was for many reason but the biggest was his age. He was just days from his 1st birthday when he passed away. I remember the phone call. I remember Nette's voice. I remember having to turn around and enjoy the day I had with the girls I was babysitting for. And I remember feeling like nothing quite made sense.
At the funeral, the pastor who spoke said something that has stayed with me. It's something I thought about when Jeff and Jeremy passed away back in Sept. "There are some things we'll never understand this side of Heaven." Isn't that the truth? No matter the circumstances, death changes lives.
But murder?? Wow. It's almost surreal at the moment. Death is something known of us quite comprehend...other than we know that at some point we will all die in the flesh. But murder???? What makes a person so angry that they murder? What is going through their mind??? Why take away someone from the people who love him/her??? Why??????????????????
Dan was just 23 years old. Still a kid really. Loved by so many. And he was just ripped from their lives. And why? From what it sounds, something that probably wasn't all that important to begin with. He never got the chance to say goodbye. His mother and father never got to tell them they loved him again. He never got to speak with his sisters one last time. And for the rest of some of his friends' lives, they will see what happened to him. None of that makes sense to me. None of it.
And all of that reminded me of something that was said just a few weeks ago about the death of Jeremy and Jeff. It's so final. I know...it may sound silly to you. We all know death (the physical part of death) is final. Duh. But that's not what was meant. And that's not how I feel. It's final. There's no last anything. One minute he was here...the next he was gone. With no warning, he was ripped from this world. Ripped from the people who loved him. Ripped from the life he could have lived. Final.
As I sat there this afternoon thinking about it all, tons of emotions hit. And I instantly came back to Shanda's boys and the girls Emily and Melissa. No parent thinks of having to bury their children. Parents are "supposed" to pass away before their children. I can't imagine having Keagen, Kale, Emily, and Melissa in my life one day and the next them being taken from me. An accident is one thing. Wouldn't make it any easier I'm sure. But murder? To take someone I love from my life...on purpose???
By this evening, I was feeling slightly guilty. I spoke with my mom and then Shanda about it. Dan was taken from this world. And life goes on. The life of his family has stopped. For the rest of their lives, Nov. 2 will be the day Dan was taken from them. Yes, eventually life will go on for them. But for right now, it's stopped. And the world outside goes on. Mom and I had already made plans for dinner and a movie tonight and we decided to do that anyway. In a way, it felt wrong to go out...laugh together...enjoy life...while the King's were at home mourning the loss of Dan. And I know that they don't expect everyone's lives to stop. I know that. But it doesn't change the feeling.
These are things that happen to other people. It feels so unreal to watch the news, hear them talk about the story and realize you knew that young man. You know that family. It feels so unlike anything I've ever felt before.
But it really does boil down to the fact that we really aren't going to understand SO many things this side of Heaven. So I have to believe that God will take this situation and turn it into good. And as I sit and think about that, I think about what I can do...what I can do for my friend Toni and her husband and her daughters. What I can do for my other friends as we get through this.
"Love Them Like Jesus"
The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart
You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you
Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus
The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away
You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you
Just love them like Jesus,
carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you
So love them like Jesus,
love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that
He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus
Comments