As I spent the summer patiently waiting to hear if an exchange student would be placed in my home, I thought a lot about how I would feel, what challenges we may face and all of that. Of course, you never really know until it's happening but I still thought about it.
I definitely thought about some of the more obvious things. She's a girl. There would be some hormones in there. (I mean, I get it. I'm a girl too!) I thought about how she may feel about being so far away from home. I've never been that far away from home but I definitely understand the feeling of missing a parent. Yes, our situations are different but I still knew that I would be able to relate in some way. All of the students have to be able to speak English but I also knew that some would be able to speak better than others. I was just hoping there wouldn't be a huge gap for us. I wondered if she would like the same things I did. I wondered what her friends would be like. I wondered if she would like my friends. Heck, I wondered often if she would even like me! What would school be like? What sports would she play? (Could I convince her that being a Buckeye fan is the only option? She honestly doesn't care! But she knows that at my house, you only root for the Buckeyes!) The list of things that I wondered and thought about goes on and on.
I didn't really have much to worry about. Not with Johanna anyway. Yes, she's a typical teenager but she's such a good kid. Sure, she's a girl. There have been a few moments but nothing we can't handle. She hasn't struggled with being homesick too much. And what she did struggle with, I never really expected. (I won't go into details. I will keep that information to myself.) There's not a language barrier for us. Of course, there's still some terms or words that we use that I have to explain a little. Or she'll ask if the sentence she's using is proper English. But I usually understand her 90% of the time. Honestly, if anything gets in the way, it's the fact that she speaks so much more quietly than the majority of Americans. Once she speaks up, I usually know exactly what she said. We do like some of the same things. Harry Potter, Twilight, music (although I must say that her love for ABBA and The Beatles has yet to make it onto my list of favorite things), food (oh, believe me, she loves food), Kewpee (a local hamburger restaurant; even though she doesn't eat meat), writing, reading...we definitely have enough in common to give us the a connection which I think is important. She's played sports that I wouldn't normally enjoy watching. (I have to admit that I've really come to like watching swim!)
School definitely brought up some things I didn't think about. I know putting her into the city school was going to be an adjustment for her. But I also knew that if she wanted the full cultural experience, this is where she was going to get it. Plus she was going to get opportunities at this school that she wouldn't anywhere else. That's definitely what I wanted for her. But I did worry. I've never been to Germany. I have no idea what the demographic was like. So I prepared myself for some of the typical issues I thought she may face. What I didn't prepare myself for were the kids being mean to her. It's just been a few. But it was enough. And if you have children, I'm sure you understand that feeling. She's not my biological child, but man, when someone messes with her, it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. I definitely didn't expect the reasons they would be mean to her. I guess I'm blessed in the sense that the teenagers I'm surrounded by are good kids. I'm sure they say and do some things at school and with their friends that they wouldn't do in front of me. (I get it. I was a teenager once too.) But I also know these kids aren't just mean to be mean. But this is what we were facing. And it was hard. Johanna wanted to handle it on her own. And I also knew in some way she needed to so she could learn through it and be a little stronger on the other side of it. But I was hard. If you know me, you know that I'm a fixer. I like to fix things like this. But I couldn't. Not in the way I wanted to anyway. But Johanna pushed through. She didn't allow it to affect how she felt about school. When I would ask her how her day was, she wouldn't mention that situation first. It was all of the good stuff first. She surprised me. She did her best with a situation that wasn't easy.
I didn't think about how much she would mature while here either. I don't know if that's typical for other students. But I can't even begin to express to you the changes I've seen in her in about the last month and a half. She's always been a good kid but she is a teenager. But over the last month and a half, I've seen a maturity out of her I just didn't expect. I'm constantly saying to myself how proud I am of her. We even had a short conversation this past weekend about trust and what that means. I was just so impressed by her. I almost can't wait until she's back home and her parents get to see that in her too.
I'm seeing changes in her too with church. This church experience has been different for her because she's Catholic, and if you know me, you know I'm not. But she adjusted to that well. She kept quiet though for the most part. She would ask little questions here and there but nothing big. But lately, she's been more involved during youth group, asking some tougher questions and even giving her thoughts on certain things. I love that! From the beginning, I told her that my relationship with God and what I did at church was extremely important to me. And because of that, we would be involved in our church. But I definitely wasn't going to force any beliefs on her. That wasn't my goal. But I've always prayed that through this experience that her relationship with God would strengthen and mean a little more to her.
One of the biggest things though that I didn't give much thought to was how much I would love her. I knew I would. I love kids. I love teenagers. But I didn't realize just how much. I didn't give it much thought. I would love her. Simple as that. I can't explain though how this young lady has worked her way into my heart. From day one, I knew it would be hard to let her go. (Believe me, I try not to think about it.) Even in those moments that she's acting like a typical teenager girl (oh you know what I'm talking about), I can't imagine what life will be like once she gets on the plane and heads back home. And I'm not the only one that I think will struggle. My friends adore her. They love being around her. My best friend's kids think she's awesome (and want to see her more than they want to see me). And I know that Johanna will struggle a little too. We've already had that conversation. And that's the other part that I didn't even think about. I knew she would make friends and I knew she would miss them when she left, but I didn't think about the extent of how that would feel for her.
It's still hard for me to wrap my head around what God was doing (and is still doing). This went from just a young teenage girl I saw on paper and instantly felt drawn to, to some disappointment for her and I both (in different ways), to putting us together for an experience I don't think either of us ever imagined. In the beginning, it was hard to joke about how she ended up living with me for the year. Her first few weeks in the U.S. were tough on her and she was upset about some of the things that happened. It was understandable. But now, we can joke about it. Every time we have a discussion about cats, we both laugh! God has given us quite a story!
Johanna would have meant a lot to me no matter what. Even if the first student in my house hadn't been Johanna, the first student would have meant a lot to me in a different way because they were my first. But I also know that Johanna will forever be extra special to me because of what God did for us both. And I know that at least right now, she doesn't necessarily see God in the middle of it. I get that. But I hope and pray that someday she will.
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| Johanna bought this for me for Christmas! She said she knew I would laugh when I saw it and I did! But it also is a reminder of how God worked it all out. I will always cherish this little kitty! |
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